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Making the Best of the Aging Process

There was no respect for youth when I was young,
and now that I am old, there is no respect for age -
I missed it coming and going.
~J.B. Priestly~

Maybe I’m a different breed then most, but I never got into telling someone they were old. And I never laughed with other kids about it, either. I’ve just never found it funny. Well, my daughter loves to tease me and say that I’m old. I don’t know why she bothers doing it because she knows it doesn’t bother me. Her answer is either, “I don’t know” or she just thinks it’s funny. I used to laugh about it, but it got old for me. Pun totally intended. My daughter would also think it’s funny that I said, “totally”. Heh. Kids.:)

I know I have gray hair. I know I have bags and dark circles under my eyes. I also know that it’s been easier for me to gain weight than it was when I was a child up until I was pregnant with my second child. Luckily I’ve also found that it’s easy for me to lose weight. Maybe it’s because that’s what I believe. I used to say that it difficult for me and it was. Since I’ve tuned to a higher and more deep (make sense?) frequency, my thoughts have changed which has change my reality.

So, I’ve accepted the way I look, bags and all and while I believe that everything is possible and that includes eliminating the signs of aging, I also know that worrying about it and getting upset when someone calls me “old” can cause stress which can ultimately cause even more signs. Like stress lines, for instance. I’m not gonna promise that if you click here, it won’t cause stress, but it shouldn’t. I don’t know why it would. If it does, may you need more than just wrinkle cream.

So, what I’m going to do instead, is learn what I can from the experts and do the best with what I have to take care of myself, which includes meditating for 2 hours each day. One hour in the morning and one hour at night. Which has become one of, if not my favorite parts of my day. It is so calming. The more I do it, the more I wanna do it. My daughter would also get a kick out of that. Saying “do it.” She got that phrase from “That 70s Show”. Thanks Kelso.8-P

Having gray hair doesn’t bother me. It never has. The bags? I’m getting used to them. I also have smile lines. Wrinkles. Sure I’d like to not have them, but, like I said, worrying about it will only cause me to get more somewhere else. Then those would be worry lines, not smile line.

There is always a lot to be thankful for,
if you take the time to look.
For example, I’m sitting here thinking
how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
~Author Unknown~

Letting My Daughter “Be”

I sometimes miss some of the days when my children were…children. Not enough to depress me. Just enough to leave me feeling a little meloncholy for a short time. I feel those feelings and then let them go. I may as well. It’s not like I can wave a magic wand and make them little again. And honestly, I wouldn’t want to, either.

I’ve always been a single mother and I’ve had jobs outside the home. I can tell you this much. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. It can also be the most rewarding. I guess it depends on the situation because I don’t know if, for instance, a mother who has a child in prison for a crime s/he did commit would feel that way. I’m sure she would want to. Because no matter what, when a mother truly loves her child/ren/ a mother’s love is unconditional.

There comes a time when you have to let your children make there own decisions, there own mistakes, and hopefully learn and grow from those mistakes. I hope that my daughter will learn from some of my mistakes so that she won’t follow my path. So far so… Well, not all things are rosy. Heck, if I put it that way, maybe they are since roses have thorns.

However, I do believe that everything is as it should be and that she is growing in her time. Sometimes it’s frustrating, I’ve learned that, while she listens to a lot of what I say to her, sometimes she chooses not to take my advice that I think could really benefit her. But that’s the way it usually no matter the age. And that’s when it’s time for me to let go.

There was a time when I even had trouble getting her the acne treatment she wanted because of the cost. Luckily at the time her father was helping out and got her something that worked. I wonder, though, if his wife complained about how much he paid for it. I don’t think he would ever buy acnepril and he wouldn’t even need to hear her utter a word, which she probably would anyway.

She’s going to be 18 in October and although she still has breakouts, they’re not as severe as they used to be and she’s discovering that guys still think she’s pretty. Which is still really important to her, so, I’m glad that she doesn’t feel the same way about herself as she once felt. I know much of that has to do with guys giving her compliments. Like the one where guys ask her if she’s from India, which began in April (synchronously her middle name is Abríl).

I know she’s going to be fine. It’s just a really scary time for her right now. She’s not quite an adult yet, but she’s also no longer a child. And she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. I understand. I’ve been there. I wish I could make it easier on her, but that’s pretty much out of my hands. Even when she was little she wouldn’t let me help her with her homework.

Well now there are times when my son asks me for my opinion. He didn’t always do that. No matter how much we want for our children, sometimes we have to let them be so that they can grow all while being there when they need guidance. While she’s getting more and more independent, I’m glad she stilll needs and wants my guidance.

College Bound

Since my son, Anthony has been home from the military, he’s been making preparations for college. One step he has taking is looking for a place to live. He decided that it would be better for him to buy house than to rent. His plan was to buy one close to the school, but he said the houses are expensive in Dekalb. Going house hunting, to banks to try to get a loan, etc., has proven more difficult then he expected.

And his wife wants to work. So, she went job hunting and she starts working tonight. In town. So now, he’s looking for a house here. Right now they are living with his wife’s brother, a sister, and the sister’s daughter. Soon more will be added to the bunch. Another sister, her boyfriend, and their baby.

Me and my son love each other. We had our differences as many parents do with their teenagers, but we’re closer now. And that means being able to admit that we would not get along if we lived together. Although, if I offered, and if he had nowhere to go, I would hope he wouldn’t hesitate to stay here. I’m sure we could find a way and it would be better then them spending money for a hotel room. But he said that he’s sure his wife’s family will let them stay there, although it’ll be crowded.

What this will mean for him is living here will mean having to commute. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by it and knowing my son, he’ll find a way to make it work.

He’s going to be taking a class that is required for all students. Anthropolgy. Why the heck does a computer science major need to learn about fossils? It doesn’t make sense to me, but whatever. He’s going to take that class on line which brings this thought to my sometimes overly active mind. It’s too bad he doesn’t earn any accredited online degrees he may get. Well, I think he’s only going after one now, but I never know with my son.:) That way he could stay home with his family while fulfilling his requirements of attending college.

You see, my son didn’t just decide to leave the military. He’s still enlisted right now. He won’t be for much longer, however, he must attend college and ROTC as planned or he will have to go back into the military. Makes it tougher for someone to just drop out of school. This was his choice.

After three years, which is the length of time he’ll be in school, Anthony will return to the military. Sometime afterwards he will be attending officer’s academy. My son is really ambitious. And he always talks about the money. He says that offices make a lot of money. And that’s what he’s looking forward to. But he also says that he loves what he does. He also gets bored easy. Even when he was a child he got bored. He’s also been successful. And I see him going as far as he wants to go.

My Weight Gain Triggers

Dr. Mark Hyman, explains on Intent.com “Why Eating a Low-Fat Diet Doesn’t Lead to Weight Loss”.

“Despite the common observation that obesity runs in families, genetic research shows that the habits you inherit from your family are more important than the genes you inherit. Obesity genes account for only 5 percent of all weight problems. Then, we have to wonder, what causes the other 95 percent of weight problems?”

My paternal grandfather, one of my father’s brothers and one of their sisters all are/were considered obese. Two of my sisters, myself, and our mother have all had/have weight issues. For a short time I was considered obese. The numbers were right over the over-weight mark. I immediately stopped sucking up all of those chocolate malts and shakes. Thankfully that hasn’t happened since.

I don’t believe my father has ever been over weight. Could that attributed to his alcoholism and being put in jail several times during his life? I don’t know. The thing about our family is, I lost touch with most of them once I became a foster child. I lived in several different homes where I could have formed new habits by different people.

There is one habit that I know I kept for years. I love, love, love pancakes. I used to get teased by the family because I could eat so many. Ten? Perhaps? Maybe more. Well, I didn’t keep that habit as an adult, but I did stuff myself at times. I’m surprised I didn’t gain a lot of weight from eating them. Always with plenty of margarine and pancake syrup. And milk to drink. Maybe it just caught up with me. Whatever that means.

Well, those days are over. I still love pancakes, but I don’t eat them often any more. Maybe once every few months. That’s about how often I crave them now. I used to crave them a lot more. And no matter how I tried, the cravings wouldn’t go away until I satisfied them. But I don’t eat as many as I once did, either. Two or three, depending on how hungry I am. And I drink water now instead of milk.

My eating habits have changed a lot, though. Mostly because of my tight budget, but also because I am more mindful of what I eat. Most of the time. I do indulge at times (like with the pancakes) and I don’t put myself on a guilt trip about it. When I see a label that says, “low-fat’ or “fat free”, my first thought is always and always has been since the beginning, “more sugar added”. Come to find out, that’s what doctors and nutritionists say as well. So I have never bought into that.

Dr. Hyman asks these questions in the article:

What seems to trigger weight gain for you?
How have different diets worked for you?
Have you ever had you insulin and blood sugar tested?

Here is my response:

Cow’s milk (I don’t drink it any more. I only use it for cooking cheese (I only eat it when I’m craving it which is very seldom) all breads sweets

I don’t do the diets. When I started drinking choc/banana smoothies daily, I started losing weight and that’s when I began to notice what makes me gain weight. I don’t need to eat much.

I don’t have insurance to go see a doctor and have never had the test done. Well, the test you are referring to sounds like a test I had done each time I was pregnant. Yuck!:)

Let me add that since I began drinking the choc/banana smoothies, I’ve noticed that I gain weight very quickly when I eat any type of bread, including whole wheat bread. I can have one roll with my bowl of beans and tomatoes and put on a pound. The bowl is small and I only fill it half full of beans and add one small to medium tomato. I did put some margarine on a couple of the rolls I’ve had this last week, but I stopped that. That should help. I hope. This reminds me. I’m almost out of diet pills. I mean bananas.:D

Eating anything with sugar in it does it, too, of course. Good thing I don’t drink coffee or tea very often any more. I think I usually gain about five pounds per four pound bag of sugar/month. Thanks for waking me up about that Dr. Dyer.

People try to say that a person can eat well on a tight food budget. I don’t think these people have tried doing that themselves. I’m talking between $20 and $35 per month for two people. Ramen Noodles, beans, bananas, eggs, canned tomatoes, tortillas, for example. And food from food pantries. You eat what you have or go hungry.

That test would probably reveal that I need to eat the foods that Dr. Hyman recommends. I’ve seen some of the recipes and well, I don’t think they are within my budget right now. But the good news is I haven’t gained all of the weight that I’ve taken off so far this year and I’m watching myself so that it doesn’t happen.

I wish we didn’t have to eat at all. Or better yet, that there was no such thing as calories, gaining weight, etc. And we could just eat anything we wanted and as much as we wanted. But if that happened, there would be a huge shortage of food because there would be a lot more eating going on.

I miss the days when it seemed like I could eat all I wanted and not gain a pound. Hey, me and my daughter were just talking about this yesterday. Love those synchronicities.:)

I do feel healthier than I did last year. I have more energy and even my hair feels and looks better than it did this time last year. So, I’m not going to worry about going on any special diet. the shorts (actually they’re skorts) that I’m wearing fit me good now where before I couldn’t even get them up my thighs. That’s progress. And, although I’m still considered over weight, I feel sexy in them, too.:)

No to the Choc/Banana Smoothies Says My Son

When my son came home, I had a fruit punch bowl full of huge bananas. When I told him that I drink a lot of choc/banana smoothies and that it’s my main meal besides beans, I think he got the idea that that is all I ever eat. Or drink.

He tried the drink and gave a disgusting look. Heh. I had a feeling he wouldn’t like it. He asked, “Required taste?” I said, “Yeah, I guess so.” And he loves bananas. Probably more than I do. But I don’t only eat them just for the flavor. I told him that I love how they make me feel. Then he talked about how all fruits can do that. My response: Bananas are cheap.:)

Well, he came over a few days ago and brought a bunch of food that he got from a food pantry. With lots of bread. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to eat it all. The bread, that is. My daughter probably won’t eat it.

Good thing she’s buying her own food now or she’d probably be going hungry. I’m not going to by her extra food just because she doesn’t like what we already have. But she doesn’t mind buying what she wants. Whew! Big relief for me. I sure do appreciate him doing that, though. And I will do my best to eat that bread. I really don’t like to waste food. Maybe he’ll come over and help me eat it.

My son says that he wants to lose some weight, but he also wants me to make him some banana bread. He remembers me baking it when he was little. He says the problem is, he can eat a whole loaf or two if I made that much.

We made some banana bread together and um…I got so distracted talking to him and enjoying myself that I forgot to add the sugar. After we each took a bite of our own piece, we both looked at each other a little disgusted by the taste and then we smiled. Talk about diet banana bread. Well, we sprinkled sugar on it and still enjoyed it.:)

He has two big containers of protein powder sitting underneath my kitchen table that he usually drinks when he’s working out. He hasn’t had the opportunity to do that since he’s been home from the military.

I think it’s easy for him to gain weight. He’s not over weight by any means, but I wonder if he would ever take anything like noxycut. I don’t know. I do know that he prefers strawberry/banana shakes which would make me gain weight very quickly since he uses ice cream. I’d love that. But, I know better. After all those chocolate milk shakes I had years ago and knowing how easy it is for me to gain weight now. Once in a while sure, but, definitely not as much as he says he has them. I miss those days when I could do that.